Defining Social Anxiety: 3 Key Areas and Lots of Strategies!
/What does it mean when you hear someone say “oh, they have anxiety” or “it’s their social anxiety acting up”?
Labeling someone with anxiety can be helpful in the short term because it helps increase awareness to those around. However, WHAT does “having anxiety” actually mean? A label doesn’t help describe the behaviors, the cause & effect, the antecedent (what happens before), or the consequence of leaving us with questions such as, “how can I help??”
Social anxiety is common for individuals who are autistic and/or who have ADHD, as well as for those with and without learning differences.
Three key areas causing the presence of “social anxiety” are:
Physiological Hyper-Arousal: When in certain situations (identify which ones), the body will often go into a hyper-arousal phase. This means that the body is going into a “flight or fight” phase. Someone may experience increased muscular tension, shallow breathing, increased heart rate & body temperature as a way to warn the individual that there might be “danger.” This can all happen in a quick second.
Negative Peer Interaction: Past history of negative peer interactions will increase presence of anxiety in social situations and may resort in avoidance behaviors (withdrawal, physical behaviors, self-harm, perseveration of thoughts, decreased cognitive flexibility, etc.)
Social Skill Deficits: Sometimes, the age-appropriate social skills just aren’t quite there yet. Children with ADHD and/or ASD often need explicit teachings of social skills, as the social skills aren’t as easily learned in the natural environment. Not only that, but social skills move fast, and some children may have delays in keeping up with social skills at the same pace as their peers due to decreased environmental exposure or socioeconomic status and temperament (more reserved/shy).
Defining “anxiety” and breaking it down into smaller components, provides the opportunities to develop appropriate, specific treatment strategies. Not only that, but each key area benefits from its own unique strategy.
Some strategies for each category include:
Physiological Hyper-arousal strategies:
Meditation
Regular Exercising
Increased body awareness & Emotions
Identify triggers and work through them in structured, supported ways while gradually introducing them more naturally into the environment
Negative Peer Interaction
Increase confidence & self-worth (watch videos, journal, affirmations, talk about strengths)
Increase problem solving strategies
Normalize challenges & differences - be honest & open and model your own strengths & challenges as a parent
Try new groups/extra-curricular activities to prevent withdrawal
Normalize that it’s okay to have ONE friend
Create structured opportunities to practice having positive experiences with peers
Social Skill Deficits
If you notice that your child is having a hard time connecting, seek support from teachers and/or professionals such as a speech language pathologist or behavior therapist.
Some areas to look out for: maintaining conversations, understanding jokes/sarcasm (if middle school and older), independently initiating conversations, etc.
