Gobbling Up Emotions: ADHD and Emotional Flooding
/My office is located across from the Principal’s Office. This means that my student’s behaviors never go unnoticed.
75% of my students have ADHD. For some, it is their only diagnosis. Just like Autism, ADHD lies on a spectrum. There are three different types of ADHD and no two individuals with ADHD are alike. While there are identified common symptoms across all individuals with ADHD, each individual will show a symptom in his/her own unique way.
A common symptom that I see in the school system is emotional flooding.
So, when I said “my student’s behaviors never go unnoticed,” what I meant was that emotional flooding is common in the school system for kids with ADHD, and it often results in my student’s ending up in the principal’s office, crying and overwhelmed.
What is emotional flooding?
A researcher, Thomas E Brown, Ph.D. defined emotional flooding as, “Flooding: A momentary emotion that can gobble up all of the space in an ADHDer’s head like a computer virus can gobble up all of the space in a hard drive” (additude.com).
What this means is that much like a virus takes over computer, so too do the emotions in the brain of someone with ADHD.
The brain’s connectivity networks has a challenging time regulating and identifying emotions, resulting in an emotion becoming too strong, flooding the brain with one intense emotion. Not only can a child with ADHD have a hard time regulating his/her own emotion, but he/she can also appear unaware of the emotions of others.
Sensitivity to Disapproval and Lower Self Esteem. Research has shown the individuals with ADHD have a more challenging time accepting and listening to information that may feel like forms of criticisms. This causes the brain to go into hyperdrive and self-defense mode. In addition, it is more challenging for individuals with ADHD to shift for their focus to another perspective of a situation, resulting in stronger reactions and emotions as a form of self-defense.
Imagine This…
One minute you are enjoying a quiet afternoon with your family, the next minute your 12-year-old daughter is screaming and yelling, possibly throwing items and acting as if your house was on fire. You run up the stairs, terrified of what you might see, angry at the loud shrieks that you just heard and clear disrespect for household items. But, what do you actually see? Both your daughters are laughing and playing a game together on the bedroom floor. So, what was your 12-year old’s problem? Being told that it wasn’t her turn yet…
It’s common to respond to such behaviors with anger and frustration. You think to yourself, “I need to stop this behavior! Shouting, throwing, and screaming are never okay!” You bring up the behavior and your daughter erupts again with a defensive attitude. You shout back and of course, the flooding of emotions has risen again.
What are some tips to managing this brain’s flooding of emotions?
1. Do not argue back during an emotional flood reaction. Be Patient. Guide your child to a safe space if needed. The brain is going to fill with emotions no matter how you respond. Allow the brain to fill with emotions without resistance. “It will be the shortest path back to returning to calm” (attitude.com).
2. Help Identify Triggers: What situations typically cause your child to experience an emotional flood?
3. Talks About Tools. Identify tools to reduce emotional flooding BEFORE emotional flooding occurs. Teach your child how to identify and manage his/her emotional flooding.
Examples of Tools: take a break, walk away, 5-10 breathes, practice explaining yourself after you cool off, talk to someone, write out tips/goals
4. Role Play. Practice with your child the following: “accepting no”, hearing criticism, losing at a game, not getting their way/first choice, someone cutting them in line, etc., as well as incorporate the practice of tools (e.g., taking 5 breathes, walking away, ignoring, saying “okay,” accepting other choices, etc.) into your role playing.
5. Exercise Regularly. Regular exercise helps to increase the neural connectivity transmissions in the brain, increases working memory, decreases anxiety and stress, and overall, helps regulate emotions.
6. Once your child is calm, offer help.
Example: “I know you worked hard on your project. I know you feel disappointed too. I am still proud of your work and you have reason to be proud too. Let’s figure out some options for what we can do when we feel disappointed.”
7. Do not take emotional flooding personally. Easier said than done of course. But remind yourself that someone experiencing emotional flooding is not in control. They may say and do things that even surprise themselves. Come back and talk about what happened at a calmer time.
Be patient and routinely practice these tips! You are your child’s best teacher.
